


The Grass is Greener on the Other Side

by the_Summonerd



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Agender Character, Genderfluid Character, Nonbinary Character, Other, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:39:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5503328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_Summonerd/pseuds/the_Summonerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tavros Nitram never really thought he could actually have the things he wants, or be the person he really is.  He makes some friends who convince him otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I actually wrote this back in March this year, wow(It's December-Almost-January now.) I finished two chapters and I plan on continuing so I figured I might as well go ahead and post what I finished! There's hints of ships in here so I tagged everything that will be suggested, besides Dave/Terezi which is actually confirmed. Anyways, have fun and don't judge me for my age-old writing lmao

Ask anyone and they would tell you what a lovely place their dear home Alternia Falls is. A quaint town on a countryside, filled with suburbs and cul-de-sacs where neighbors knew their neighbors. Picket fences and shrubs barricaded pet pomeranians from gardens ripe with daisies you could just swear smiled at you. The weather was warming into spring, the snow officially melted away. Flowers and trees bloomed into colors that painted the ground with petals and pollen, and school children danced with anticipation of the final semester drawing to a close. Yes, Alternia Falls was a lovely place for a home. That would be, to anyone who isn't you.

Not that you have anything against the place your family had made their home, you were sure if you were really looking for it you could find tranquility in it all yourself. The fact of the matter, is, you weren't.

Your name is Tavros Nitram, you're seventeen years young and a senior student attending Alternia Falls Highschool. A "predicament," you suppose, was a fine term for what you had found yourself in. Though, to be perfectly honest, it was quite soft of a title for how severe this "predicament" was.

It had been with you for a long time, much longer than you had let on. To other people, or, to yourself. It was hard to accept it yourself when you knew other people wouldn't. You wish it was just something you could carry on without ever having to talk about it, something people wordlessly accepted, a problem maybe you could just run away from or prevent.

Freshman year; It took a turn on self discovery. Problems occurred, and problems changed people. Whether it be a divorce in the family, a break up, a failed grade or a friend moving far, far away. In all their own ways, they affected the lives of people. Your problem affected you a lot, and changed you in many ways.

Keeping your own problem to yourself was both burdening and keeping you safe. You had one exception, the only person you thought might understand, your brother. Or... you suppose you should say sibling.

Otherwise, school sucked you dry.

There was some odd comfort through confiding in strangers. You knew said sibling to do this quite often, they would talk to whoever would listen, something you never really saw yourself doing. Something you didn't want to be so desperate to do.

Yet... With the weight growing heavier and harder to carry every day, you stared at the sweet temptation. It was really inconsequential, if they didn't know you well enough to care enough to tell anyone or think differently of you, then what could be the harm?

Comfort, you wanted to find some form of it.

His name was Karkat Vantas, though not a complete stranger he was, this acquaintance would do. What you were hoping to do through confiding in him was find enough of a positive reaction to gather enough confidence to come out to someone closer.

It... didn't go as you had planned, though. You were right about him not caring, but you vastly underestimated just how much he didn't. You don't know why you were surprised, for all the worth you thought of yourself. Your eyes watered and your throat gummed up, but by the end of it you wondered why he even bothered to let you pull him aside.

Freshman year was not your year.

Your spirits weren't down for too long though, come the time you had graduated to Sophomore you wanted to end the hiding once more.

Friends, something you found hard to come by. Maybe it was because you sucked at talking to people, or, people sucked at caring about you. Either way you have less than a handful and no room to complain.

Her name was Aradia Megido. She'd been your best friend since seventh grade, and your next, more serious attempt. You remember it took months to build up the courage, and you were still having doubts even as you were halfway through sobbing and explaining, watching her for any signs of judgement as she sat on the bathroom sink. You had no idea how she might react and you were scared of most scenarios your mind came up with.

Thankfully it didn't go nearly as badly as the first time. Not to say that it went perfectly, either. You don't know if it had as much to do with your "predicament," personally, but with herself. You fell silent in giving her space to work out her problems.

By Junior year, you weren't friends anymore.

That's not to say she turned on you out of spite, you got into an argument, or anything of the sorts happened. Over the school year you hung out less and less and by the summer you fell out of touch, when school started the next year you might as well have been strangers to one another.

You felt like everything had fallen to shambles by then. Like there wasn't much left to lose, like you were all alone.

Well... you say alone. Really... you weren't.

Her name is Vriska Serket. You wanted to call her your friend, you really did. No one but you would really know why, we're talking about the girl who never missed an opportunity to bully you. All the same, she was the only person who had talked to you every day since the eighth grade.

She didn't particularly talk to you about anything pretty, most of the time picking on you or talking about herself, but... she was there? You suppose. When she decided you were just going to hang out with her, you couldn't find yourself making any objections.

She was the last person you thought you would tell.

Yet here you were, in Senior year, feeling alone and hopeless. All these bottled up thoughts and feelings, things you wish you said, things you never said, things you still thought you wouldn't... They filled you full, to the brim and past that. And, as it appeared, when things fill too full - well, they burst.

It was quick, like ripping off a bandage. Not something you could have planned, which was funny because you felt none of the anxiety you always did when dropping bombs like this. Like breaking a twig in half on the first try rather than hitting it several times to get it to snap.

"Tamaraaaaaaaaa," Her sing-songy voice rings through, just as aggravating as she wanted it to be, but not for any reasons she intended. Your eyebrow twitches, and you feel your stomach lurch as if it just did a backflip. You don't even think twice about it, or perhaps at all, before you knew it you had already said it.

"Tavros."

She looks bewildered, you just threw a random, contextless word at her. You know it's too late to turn back, even though the severity of the situation spreads a cold chill through your chest. "My name, it's Tavros." You try not to stutter, you just ball your fist up and stare at her in anticipation - though you don't quite know what you're anticipating.

She pulls her brows together, then puts a hand on her hip and inquires you. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

_"I'm not a girl."_


	2. Chapter 2

They say things don't change overnight, and you guess you were a fool for believing them.

It wasn't even something you thought could happen. Maybe with someone else, over a longer period with some adjustment, but no. Since that day, Vriska never referred to you as a female again. In fact, she pestered you about why you didn't tell her sooner.

She always says she's trying to help you, and you guessed you were surprised to see the day that actually happened.

It had loads of different upsides and downsides. To finally have someone to accept you, and without a second thought. At the same time, she thought it was past time you moved out of your comfort zone.

The closet did things to you. Despite hating yourself more and more every time you looked into a mirror, you settled with whatever you thought people wouldn't judge you for. Your hair, though shortened on its sides, was kept permanently pulled back in a long ponytail. You didn't like it, but it kept you from being called a "dyke."

You thought things like binders and "How to Pass" guides on the internet were for when you were older... and maybe somewhere far, far away where no one you knew would ever have to see you be yourself.

She was like a bucket of ice water to wake you up, unwanted despite how much it was needed.

After school the next Monday, she drug you straight back to her house without so much as a minute to text your dad and tell him you wouldn't be there when he comes to pick you up.

It was like her to be assertive, though, so you just sighed and went along with it. What you weren't expecting, though, was when she waited until you let your guard down to sneak up behind you and snip your ponytail off with a pair of scissors.

You panicked at first, she must have noticed. "Don't give me that crap, Tav, I know you hated it." At her statement you swallowed hard, you couldn't say anything because you knew she was right.

She grabbed you by the shoulders and steered you into the bathroom, when you looked in the mirror you fought tears from welling in your eyes.

"I know you care what everyone else thinks." She tells you, and you fidget with your fingers. Still no objections. She was still reading your mind. "Tell me what you want."

"Err... well, I, uh... I guess I've always wanted a mohawk?" You say timidly, still unsure about this. She was armed and dangerous holding those scissors. You were asking for this, though, by answering her question, you knew you were. You did want a mohawk, it just never occurred to you that you could... well. Have the things that you want.

And she gave you that.

You don't know how long you were staring in that mirror, how many times you ran your hand over your head, your hair shortened drastically and surprisingly looking great. Vriska smirked and put the clippers away, it didn't even occur to you how long you'd actually been there until she asked you if you were staying for dinner.

You joined her family that night over takeout, and they paid you compliments to your hair. Her mother, Cheng, was a friend of your father's, so someone you knew closely - more or less. Her judgement you might have been afraid of, but she had none to pass.

The happiness washed the anxiety away. By the time you were walking home, it was dark and there was a spring in your step. No anxiety attacks, no panic, just a dumb grin as you felt the stubbly sides of your scalp.

Your family was surprised, but there was still a sufficient lack of judgemental glares, your nanna even told you that you looked lovely. She was sort of, well, very blind, but you took that as a compliment.

You slept like a baby that night.

~~~

Tuesday morning, Vriska was standing by your locker when you showed up to retrieve your books. Your first thought was to ask her how long she'd been standing there, but that was abruptly interrupted when she shoved something at you and you were forced to grab whatever it was.

You unfold the mesh-like cloth and stare between your hands at what looked like a vest. You had a feeling you knew what it was but you also had a hard time believing it.

"Is this...?" You start, lowering the cloth to look at the girl. She put a hand on her hip and stared off as if it were nothing. "You're lucky I had it," is what she says. 

"Yours now," was her farewell, she was gone almost in an instant and the bell rang after her. This was when you realized you had to get to homeroom, and started hastily shoving things in and out of your locker.

Wednesday morning was the first day you wore it. It was... well, quite something to witness, almost like a magic act. To make such a large bust almost disappear, at the same time it made you immensely happy you were also nervous.

"What if someone noticed?" You stressed to yourself, but when you dressed and looked again in the mirror you couldn't stop staring.

You resisted tears. It was all of a sudden like... you were a real guy.

"You are a real guy." Came one string of cerulean words after a wall of bronze text, talking to Vriska that afternoon once school had released. It was kind of weird to discuss your feelings with her, but... it was comforting, all the same.

She would listen to all your doubts and worries about alarming people at school to your... situation, and promptly try to drop kick them.

AG: Listen, Pinocchio, you're a real 8oy now and it's high time you start acting like one.  
AT: eR,  
AT: wHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN,  
AT: eXACTLY?  
AG: You need to stop worrying a8out what other people think!!!!!!!!  
AG: 8y next week I'm o8liter8ting them.  
AT: oBLITERATING WHAT?  
AG: Female pronouns!!!!!!!!  
AT: wHAT?!  
AT: vRISKA,  
AT: dON'T YOU THINK,  
AT: tHIS IS SORT OF RASH,  
AG: Closets are for chumps! Anyways, no one's gonna care, and the school year is practically over.  
AT: hOW DO YOU KNOW THAT, nO ONE IS GOING TO CARE?  
AG: You'll see, toreasnore.  
AT: yOU'RE ACTING, qUITE, uH,  
AT: oMINOUS,  
AT: i DON'T LIKE THIS,  
AG: You'll be thanking me l8er.

The pesterchat was closed before you could get a word in edgewise, and you promptly shut your laptop and pushed it away. Your stomach was doing backflips and you wondered what she had in store.

There was no way she was just going to come out to the entire school for you... she wouldn't do that.

...

Would she?

You didn't sleep much that night, unless you count the two hours you were passed out before your alarm interrupted your rest.

School was dreaded, but you still got up to get ready. It was a miracle you didn't fall asleep in the shower, but you were feeling better once you had some breakfast.

You decided to talk to Vriska and hopefully set it straight with her when you got to school, when you arrived you marched straight to her locker.

She wasn't there, though. Your stubbornness kept you there, sort of awkwardly waiting. You lean your back against the lockers and cross your arms across your chest, checking your phone for the time every few minutes.

You were going to be late again, but the tightness in your chest kept you grounded, even when the amount of people in the halls thinned out and it had been three minutes since the first bell rang.

Finally, you saw her, you were about to walk up and ask her why she was so fashionably late when you realized - she wasn't alone.

You stopped dead in your tracks, and she looked about as pissed off as you were with her.

"There you are," Vriska said. "There I am?" You think, had she been waiting for you too?

"Whatever, you're not making me late." She shoved her companion at you and promptly walked away, all in a fuss. You thought about stopping her, still seriously wanting to discuss your last conversation, but you were successfully distracted by this new person.

"Bitch," it was muttered under their breath at Vriska's departure, and you bit your tongue to hold back any laughter. "Uhh, I guess you wanted to talk to me?"

"Name's Terezi, Terezi Pyrope." They promptly extended a hand... in the wrong direction. You awkwardly slid over to politely grab and shake it. You knew someone surnamed Pyrope in middle school, but... they didn't look anything like this.

"Er... Tam- Tavros. Tavros Nitram..." You said with shaky breath. Normally you wouldn't do that, but you felt like they were someone you could trust. Their grin spread wide and you awkwardly smiled back.

"Well, Tavros, you're coming with me after school." They said matter-of-factly, and you wondered when you would catch a break from people deciding what you were going to do.

"Uhh... where?" Is what you ask instead.

"To a little place I like to call trans support group."


End file.
